My Friend...

When you are sad, ... I will get you drunk and help
you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made
you sad.
 
When you are blue, ... I'll try to dislodge whatever
it is that is choking you.
 
When you smile, ... I'll know you FINALLY got laid.
 
When you are scared, ... I will rag you about it every
chance I get.
 
When you are worried, ... I will tell you awful
stories about how much worse it could be and tell you
to quit whining.
 
When you are confused, ... I will use small words to
explain it to your dumb ass.
 
When you are sick, ... stay the hell away from me
until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
 
When you are heaving, ... I will hold your hair while
you pay homage to the porcelain god.
 
When you fall, ... I will piss myself laughing at you.
 
 
This is my oath, ... I pledge it till the end.
Why, you may ask? Because you're my friend!